Moving on
January 21st, 2007 by neukekeHave been thinking lots lately…
Anyway, I might not blog here anymore, moved it to the add below, perhaps you could read it there…
Take care people…
What you want?
September 5th, 2006 by neukekeHello people, I know I haven’t been blogging here for ages but doesn’t mean I’m not blogging right? Well who cares…read on…
Everywhere you go, perfection
Follows you the wrong direction
And you will never see if for
You get all that you need and more
You see it, you want it
You find it, it’s yours
But you can’t say what you want or
Take what you want or
Choose the moods that you fake when you want
You said your life couldn’t get much better
Then where it’s at
And aren’t you glad
The only one of 5; exception
The child of your pride, deception
And on your list of things to do
Is make me fall in love with you
You find one, you want one
Cause I’m one, who plays
You can’t say what you want or
Take what you want or
Choose the moods that you fake when you want
You said your life needed something special
Which you don’t have
You can’t say what you want or
Take what you want or
Rest and wake anyway that you want
You said your life couldn’t get much better
Well, here I am, and aren’t you glad.
This is something that can knock some senses to you. You just can’t get what you want without doing something. Money don’t just drop from the sky, so don’t dream that it will happen someday. Work hard for what you want. Are you working hard enough? Am I?
"He who seeks shall find. He who labours shall reap."
::03112005::0152hours::
November 2nd, 2005 by neukekeFor the past few days, my past time was filled with assignments-doing!! Can’t even have a decent break for a week…Sobz…I doubt I can finish my assignment on time, but surely I’ll try my very very best to finish them off by the end of this week.
Missed so much things after going to college:::
~ My usual buddies(XB,WC,VV,BW,WJ,KW,CL,PM,SC,MRI,SH…and lots more) in the old school days;
~ Hanging out with my bestest friends;
~ Going for prefect duty with my bestest frens(although it’s quite tough, but there’s still sweet memories there)
~ 4Cekal & 5 Cekal good old days
~ Band practises (that I almost fail to attend everytime)
~ Some teachers(eg. waterfish, ms Huang…etc but definitely not FISHBALL)
~ Staying back after school for stupid, time-wasting meetings(but it’s fun)
~ Organizing camps (tiring but fun)
~ Arguing with teachers (esp. Soam-y, Pok-y, Ee-y, Kam-y, Tham-y…people that gets irritated but the "9 cool-but-annoying committees" of the prefectorial board)
~ Making the concert band’s Concert "Soaring Melody" a total success!!!
~ Meeting Ms.Choong every month to do some treasurer business.
~ Some memories…
~ Going to school-organised event
~ Take my own sweet time to get to all lab classes…
~ Always excusing from class just to getaway from some teachers…
~ Doing stupid but funny things in class with other 3-flowers..hehe
~ Going for tonnes of tuitions
~ Staying at home…
~ Eating home-cooked food
~ Staying in my own room, own comfy-bed…
~ Playing with my dogs
~ Chit-chatting with my Mum!!
~ Going to pasar malam on Thursdays!! (Must go 2ml)
~ "Quarelling" with my brother ( I had enuf of that this week)
~ Visiting Grams…
There’s too much for me to miss, but I’ve got to get on with life!! It’s almost 2am now, sleepyzzZzZZzzzzZzzZZ……
Creeps…
October 30th, 2005 by neukekeAt TGV, I was freaking out…keeping myself calm…but still it’s so horrifying by just looking at the poster…I can’t believe I’ve sat there and finished the whole movie. Well, my hand was constantly ’sticking’ onto my face closing my eyes partly…to be precise–only 1/4 open.(can’t imagine how i looked that time) It was quite frigthening at the beginning but almost at the end (after knowing the gal in tat movie) it’s not tat scary anymore…but still it’s TERRIfYING, some unpredictable scenes popped up..then i feel like screaming. It’s not a bad movie after all but I don’t know how am I going to spend my life in INTI hostel anymore…Aihzz..I’ll not torture myself like that next time. *cry*
There’s a newcomer in my house–Fox!!(don’t know whether is it spelled like that) Well, he’s a dog given to us by my ex-neighbour ’cause they are moving away…etc. Fox is a very weird dog ’cause he’s a mixed between elsation and ’sausage’ dog–so u can imagine how he looks–the head n tails looks totally like an elsation but the body…long and short!! The first thing I saw him was–laugh!! He’s cute yet weird. I don’t what’s gone topsy-turvy with his urinary system but he tend to pee(everywhere) when he gets excited with things. Gosh!! That’s so terrible!!! Yucks!! Furthermore, he only ‘knows’ hokkien and mandarin!! What the heck!! Now, I gotta ‘converse’ with him in mandarin *weird*…and with my other dog in english!! Gosh!!
Having a short break now, but there’s still assignments to be finish! What kind of break is this?
Anyway, Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya to all my Friends who are celebrating!!!
Lost
October 18th, 2005 by neukekeI know it has never been easy from the start. If you tell me that you aren’t able to do it, then I’ll not even start with it. Now, problems arises, I don’t know how to face it. You told me to take it easy and said you’ll handle it, but in the end, I still need to face the devil. I hate being like that, just tell me if you can’t do it, don’t drag on cause it makes my life miserable. I’m alone here, without anyone by my side, what can I do now?
…Nevermind, I believe that you can do it. I have faith in you, I’ll do my part and you do yours, and one day we’ll succeed. I know we can…
I pray that things will be better soon…Take care…
ignoremei’mnobody!!!
October 16th, 2005 by neukekeLife is DAMN MISERABLE!! I’m just trying to be myself, if you can’t take it then just back off!! None of your monkey business!!! Everything around me is changing since the beginning, just that I don’t dare to accept it. Why? ‘Cause I can’t believe people in this world would really change so suddenly. It’s really pathetic to know this fact, but still I need to bear it.
I’m really disappointed by all the things evolving around me. It’s likes I’m the only dunno-what-is-happening gal, and will always be the blur-Queen. No matter where I go, I’ll tend to be left out. Why? Is it because I’m so called the "small-kid"??Or what?? Tell me!!! I’m fed up with this kind of stupid-useless-hopeless lifestyle. It doesn’t mean anything at all, it just makes life harder and tougher for everyone.
I don’t know what happened, and I don’t even wanna know about it if you all are not planning to tell me!!! What for I bother if I’m not welcomed to know???? ~~I don’t what happened but it seems like we all are drifting apart. It’s not the same anymore like lastime. Everything’s turning weirder and weirder. Different mentality, different thinking,different aim…etc. Everyone seems to have their own frustration and problems, to make things worst, we don’t talk that much anymore. Although there are some
FRIENDS
It seems to be an Easy and Nice word, but it’s not like everyday you can meet up with this true and devoted kind of people. People tend to take advantage of this particular word and make up those phrases like "FRIENDS FOREVER" and etc. Well, I don’t have a problem with people saying that and I do say it myself sometimes, but people, think—would this happen between you and your FRIENDS??? I emphasize on the "S" word. Personally, I do think it’s possible if both parties make an effort, but how long would it last? You can never know what will happen in the near future nor you can know what will be happening in the next minute when you meet up your friend. Please say those phrases when you mean it, don’t just say it for fun because people might get hurt because of a simple-silly mistake you make. Cherish the friends around you, trust me…
**No one’s perfect, so I don’t expect too much, I’m just pouring out how I feel now…**
~~my apologies to those around whom I’ve hurt all along without noticing, I’m really sorry for what I’ve done, but I’ll cherish the moments we had together once upon a time.Sorry again…
~~To my BEST FRIENDS, I love you all very much. Although we don’t meet up often but we still manage to keep in touch. Thanx a lot for always being there for me, guiding me throughout my journey. I missed you all very much, and I do…really I do cherish those special moments we had together…(Now, I wish that we are Friends Forever…)
~~Friends of mine, despite the years or months or days or hours or minutes or seconds I’ve known you, I’ll always try to be at my best to be your friend!!
In this point of life, I think there’s nothing harder than MAKING DECISION. There are a lot of matters that we to deal with, and surely it’s tough—never easy!! Sometimes I wonder am I suffering from some sort of disorder or whatsoever because MY LIFE IS IN A MESS!!! Thinking too much lately…SUFFERING. I just hope I can help others in whatever they are facing and on the mean time also solve my own problems.
There are a lot of times where I feel like letting go everything, unfortunately(or should I say fortunately) I failed to do so ’cause I don’t that’s the way of solving a problem. Running away from a problem is like running away from your own shadow, which doesn’t make any sense.
IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE EVERYONE, SO PLEASE YOURSELF AND BE WHO YOU ARE
Dunnowhattoputforthisstupiduselesstitle!!!
October 16th, 2005 by neukekeIt’s getting harder, and by the day, I would have gain nothing. Even though I’ve put an effort to do so…I’m nobody to everybody, you can ignore me as long as you want to, I’m invisible!!
If things are that easy to be solve, there will no suicide cases around. I don’t know where I’m heading to at all. I’m like a mad-dog running around, without any main objective in life. I’m really at lost, I don’t seem to get to the point of everything. It’s really pathetic to live a life like that. No matter what happen, I’ll not do anything stupid to hurt myself and everyone around me.
Why is it so hard to lead a non-bumpy life? I wonder have I chose the wrong path, if so then I’ll stop…I’m still hanging on…
Sickenin’ week but stomach-fillin’weekend
October 3rd, 2005 by neukekeSICK!!!—Well, I was sick for the pass whole week, making my life miserable…To make things worst, i’ve got a whole lot of exams coming up in the next few weeks…*sob*sob…I’m really curious of why my ‘flu’ dragged for such a long period of time, usually i’ll be fine after 3-4 days but now, after 1 whole week, I’m only feeling better…"Is it because i’m weak??"…(^~^)–"no idea"
Anyway, i’m really relived and happy that my cousin came back from the states. Haven’t seen him for a very long time, if i’m not mistaken it’s been 5 years since his last visit…After not seeing him for such a long period of time, he’s still the same, not much changes…but he’s status now is no longer a normal student ’cause he’s now a Professor in some sort of Bio-Chem research stuff…Geng rite?? Furthermore, his girlfriend is such a cute, simple…intelligent person—a doctor le..so GENG!!!…After 3 day stay with my gramps, they went back to Australia on yesterday…Miss them soooooMuch…Hope to see them next year during Gramps B’day!!!*can’t wait till that day…hehe
They bought alot of things back for me and my brother, including:-
-Disneyland Chocolate-
-Hershley’s Choclate-
-Disney, Mickey Cap-
-Shirts-
and the best of all…
—-HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE—-
Thanx alot!!!!!
=Mum just called to check on me whether i’m feelin better…=
==I’m gaining weight!!!!==
…and this is the most disasterous thing in my life!!! I don’t know why…maybe after being sick and limiting myself from eating certain stuff during that period, I’ve ate quite alot during the weekends…and then i gained some pounds…*sob I should have know better that i’m not suppose to eat so much in order to maintain my weight…but now…it’s all too late!! I gotta cut down on my diet now…Really!! I’m Serious!!! Gotta eat less and do more exercise!!!….
Time to…
September 19th, 2005 by neukekeI’ve been dreaming of that day since my childhood,
but it seems like that dream is going down the DrAin day by day…
A heart fill with disappoinments,
I’ve lost my direction for life,
I used to be someone with an AIM in life,
but now…
It’s perishing…
Disappearing in the dark may seem to be the ‘BeSt’ way,
but running away from the problem doesn’t solve anything at all…
I’m drifting apart…
My dreams in life will DISAPPEAR forever if i don’t pull myself together…
"Aim High, Study Hard"===that’s what i’ll remember!!! and That’s what i’ll do…
Time was once wasted,
but it’s time to make some changes…
Tomorrow will be better…
"Aim High, StuDy Hard"
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It’s really saddening, how can i get this kind of result??
What has happened?
I didn’t do enough revision? (Answer: Yes, I think)
…….Study loooo……
Can’t play play anymore, i can’t bear the consequences…
I dare not try…It will me really damaging for my future!!!
Study Hard everyone…
***CL arrr….I really scare le…
It means something to Me…
September 17th, 2005 by neukekeIt seems like just yesterday you were part of me;
I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong;
Your arms arond me tight, everything felt so right;
UnBrEaKaBlE( is it true?), like nothing could go wrong..
No I can’t breathe, I can’t sleep—I’m barely hangin’ on
Here I am, once again, I’m torn into pieces
Can’t deny it, can’t pretend…
Just thought YoU were the OnE
Broken Up, deep Inside
But You won’t get to see the tears I cry
I told You everything, opened up and let you in
You made me felt alright====for OnCe in my life!!!
Now all that’s left of me, is what I pretend to be
—->Sewed together but so BrOkEn Inside
Swallow me then Spit me out for hated you I Blame myself
Seeing you, it KilLs me now; though I don’t CrY on the Outside anymore…
***
Because of YoU, I never strayed too far from the sidewalk…
Because of You, I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get HuRt…
Because of YoU, I find it HaRd to TrUsT…not only Me but everyone around ME!!!
Because of You…I’m AfRaId…
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